It’s one of the best days of your life. Your boyfriend has just presented you with a special little box. Your joy is soaring as you pop the lid only to be confronted with a ring that makes your heart sink. What on earth do you do when presented with an engagement ring you hate?
1. Don’t Panic!
Getting proposed to with a ring that you really hate can bring up a number of worrying thoughts, perhaps the biggest of all being that if he chose a ring that is so not you, then how well does he really know you overall? Before you let these thoughts take over, please just take a minute and take a breath! The key thing to remember is that, even if he doesn’t have knowledge of your jewelry preferences, he clearly loves you enough to ask you to spend the rest of your life with him. Surely that trumps everything!
2. Try to See It from His Perspective
Just because you hate the ring, it certainly doesn’t mean that he hasn’t put any though into it and just picked the first one he saw. Take some time to ask your new fiancé why he chose the ring he did. You may find out that the choice stemmed from a well reasoned and touching personal thought. If so, this could completely change your view on the ring and solve your problems!
3. Ponder It for a Few Days
Causing such a big argument right at the start of your engagement is definitely something you do not want to be doing. If you truly love your new fiancé, then the conversation about the ring can certainly wait a couple of days so that you can calm down and try to look at it more objectively. Test drive the ring for a period of time and, you know, just enjoy being engaged to the love of your life! Given time, you may come to actually like it.
4. Decide Exactly What You Don’t like about It
The most common reason for not liking an engagement ring is that it may not match up with the dream ring you have envisioned in your head many times over. With magazines and movies being the main catalyst for these dream rings, it might be time to reevaluate exactly what the reality of the situation is. When looked at with unbiased eyes, what you do not like about the ring may not actually be as drastic as you first thought.
5. Drop Hints Beforehand
If you have been getting the feeling that your man is going to propose in the near future, then start to drop subtle hints about the jewelry styles and stones that you love, and more importantly, the ones you hate! In all likelihood, your boyfriend will be eternally grateful for the subliminal tips and this way it will still feel like he has made all of the big decisions. Win/win!
6. Get Second and Third Opinions
Another sensible thing to do is to get second and third opinions from people that you trust, like your close family and friends. Your head may be clouded with proposal surprise and the fact that ring may not meet your dream expectations. Getting advice and opinions from clear minds will help you to determine if the ring really is as bad as you think.
7. Tell Him!
Let’s face it, if you hate your engagement ring then the most honest and direct way of dealing with the problem is to just tell him! It may hurt some feelings in the immediate aftermath, but reassure him that you love him and that you want to spend your life both with him and with a ring that is as beautiful as your feel your relationship is. If he really loves you, he will appreciate the honesty and will enjoy being able to make you happy.
It might seem superficial to not like an engagement ring, but it is a symbol of your love and you want to love your ring as much as you love your fiancé. It’s difficult to think about having to wear something you really don’t like – and wearing it every day, for a very long time – so this is an issue to be dealt with, not ignored.
Did you love your ring or did you have to grow to love it?